While my announcement was on short notice, I was appalled by the response to my first ever bye week. I didn't realize the uproar missing one week would cause and was unaware that all the sheep needed someone to corral them into their pens each week. Now, as I sit down on a Thursday morning to finish the recap, I came across something that I was unenlightened about until just now. Someone, and I won't name names, but someone had the audacity to write a recap in lieu of the bye week. Most would applaud this bold effort, as all of you did, but the content in there was bullshit. Again, not to name names, but the writer had the fucking cheekiness to actually say that Justin's team was more injured than mine? This is where I must dismount from my high horse and kneel down to the peasants amongst this group and let it be known that it's shenanigans to believe that. Tomfoolery, nonsense, chicaneries, and all the other synonyms that are associated with it. It's fake news. To quote the unnamed writer " I don’t know anyone who has taken more hits than his [Justin's] team. Wilson, Ridley, Thomas and Tonyan have all gone down like a New York hooker on a Friday night". Are you fucking serious? First off, New York Hooker's don't take breaks from work because of mental wellbeing. NY Hooker's are savages who wouldn't dare to take a night off because they cant handle the bright lights. It's disgraceful to compare the two. Secondly, he traded away Wilson and Ridley. Tonyan was never even good (sorry Probst), and I don't even know what Thomas you're talking about. As Commish, I have the obligation to hold this league to the highest morality and I refuse to let this slander bear any weight. My team though? I lost the top fantasy scorer on the year in King Henry, Godspeed. I lost my second round pick in Carson for what seems to be the entire year now. I lost James White, arguably the most underrated PPR RB since 2017. I lost DJ Chark after one week as well as Kittle, Landry and Julio all missing multiple games. Shenanigans and I won't stand for it.
With all the being said, I will give my smallest compliments to the unnamed writer as he correctly informed the league of the weekly payout. Good job. That's about where the compliments end though. I must regain order and set facts straight, so with that, let's jump right into recap.
WEEK 10 PAYOUT WINNERS
Ryan, Cooper Kupp (insert shocked face here)
In the least surprising payout of 2021, Cooper Kupp wins the only WR payout on the slate. Kupp is on pace to finish with a ridiculous stat line and potentially break the single season all-time receiving yards, albeit in a 17-game season. Kupp has been far and away the best WR this year with Tyreek being a distant second.
FACT OF THE WEEK
Here is the list of all-time league records that Ryan's team is on pace to break, or has already broken.
Most points scored in a single week
Most points scored in the regular season
Largest average margin of victory
Smallest average margin of defeat
Most points scored on average by offensive players
Most points scored on average by defense
Most points scored from players drafted
Most weekly touchdowns on average
Most weekly passing yards on average
Most weekly receiving yards on average
START OF THE WEEK
Justin, Tony Pollard - 15.80pts
There were a few other contenders for this week, some will be addressed later, but this one stood out. Justin had a tough decision to choose between backup running backs in Pollard and Hubbard. While Pollard has a more consistent role in the offense, Hubbard was expected to still play a decent role with CMC just getting back from an injury. It paid off as choosing Pollard over Hubbard was the difference between winning and losing last week.
BLUNDER OF THE WEEK
Spencer, Russel Wilson - 5.64pts
After trading for Wilson a week earlier, Spencer felt like it was time to throw the shiny new toy into the lineup and give him a shot to shine. Unfortunately, it backfired. After rehabbing 19-hours a day on his finger it only left 5-hours each day to eat, sleep and be a dad. You could tell he was sleepy because he didn't show up on Sunday. Also, I'm not here to give parental advice nor am I qualified but I would imagine at some point there was probably some negligence on Russ' part when it came to being a father over the past three weeks. Just sayin. Personally, I can't wait for the epic 30-for-30 documentary on how Russ managed to overcome a gruesome mallet finger injury and beat the Packers in a shootout for the ages... Ohhhh, yeah. The ol' plot twist, he instead got shutout against the Packers and if you ask me, Geno gave the Seahawks a better chance to win that game.
HEARTBREAK OF THE WEEK
Revenge games were brutal this week. Last year I traded Mahomes to Jere and it wasn't easy letting him go. He had treated me well and was a cornerstone of my team. Last week was our first time facing each other since the departure and he quickly reminded me the upside potential he has each week. Mahomes ended up throwing for over 400 yards and 5 touchdowns against my team, the final one coming after a play in which the Raiders dropped an easy interception. Tough to watch as he essentially all but ended my perfect playoff streak. A week after being part of a blockbuster trade that was reversed, Deebo Samuel once again found himself shipped off to a new team. Deebo being one of the best WR's in the league this year was primed to go against his former team the next week and he showed up. Early in the fourth quarter, Deebo housed a 40-yard touchdown that ended the matchup against Worzie, finishing with a near season-high of 30.30pts and stealing a W away from Worzie in the process.
Two tough L's for team trying to make the playoff bubble.
WEEK 11 POWER RANKINGS - GIF Edition
1) Mile High Magic | 7-3 | -
2) LBJ = GOAT | 6-4 | ▲3
3) Kamara Forever | 6-4 | ▼1
4) Romo Returns | 7-3 | ▼1
5) Just Do It | 5-5 | ▲2
6) This is the Pitts | 5-5 | ▲2
7) Big Meaty Calves | 4-6 | ▼2
8) Wolf of Wall Street | 4-6 | ▲1
9) Goodell 2.0 | 4-6 | ▼3
10) I've Been Immunized | 2-8 | -
MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 11
Spencer (4-6) vs Jared (6-4) | Justin (5-5) vs Nick (7-3)
We have a pair of brothers facing off this week with the Forells and Cianos squaring up. As you'll see below, I have the younger brothers upsetting the older brothers in these matchups below even though It's in my best interest that the older brothers win. With wins, Jared and Nick essentially lock their playoff spots up for good.
Commish's Lucky 8-Ball Predictions: (9-6 overall) 0-3 picking myself, so here is to the reverse jinx.
Commish vs Nathan: Nathan Wins
Spencer vs Jared: Spencer Wins
Probst vs Ryan: Ryan Wins
Jere vs Worzie: Jere Wins
Justin vs Nick: Justin Wins
WEEK 11 WEEKLY PAYOUT
Pursuit Drill - Team that has the defense with the most combined interceptions, fumbles and sacks.
A lot of defensive moves on the waiver wire this week. Feeling good about paying myself $20 even though I have no idea who my defense will be, but my decision making is at an all-time high right now.
Good luck to everyone this week, except you Nathan. Lil bitch.