Week one is officially in the books and while it's only one week, I think my post-draft recap is already spot on. Joe Mixon's value is already showing as the "best value" for early-round picks and Marvin Harrison Jr. is already showing why he is the "worst value" pick. Don't look at the rest of them, it's only been one week, they'll eventually come to fruition.
As you can see from above, Josh Allen is the Player of The Week... Do I like making a sweet one-of-one Josh Allen NFT trading card that will be worth billions? No, I don't. You guys know where I stand on Josh, but I also stand on business. I said in my post-draft recap that he's an elite fantasy player, and he showed it again in week one. 'Nuff said, let's move on.
Seeing your team as 0-2 after the first week must be heartbreaking. The new "extra game against league median" is already having the effect I hope it would. Nathan scored 130.66pts, good enough to beat six of the other teams, but lost his matchup by less than 1pt. He still gets the loss but notches the extra win for being in the top-5 point scorers for the week. Ryan is on the other side of the coin, scoring 111.55pts and getting a win over Spencer's lousy team, but did not score enough to get into the top-5 points, giving him a loss and finishing 1-1 for the week.
Lastly, before we get into the recap, may I remind everyone that a luxury tax will be applied to those who are late with their dues. I may fine managers, take away future draft picks, or potentially suspend rostered players. $150, venmo @hendu.
Alright, let's get right into this, shall we?
WEEK 1 PAYOUT WINNER Chicks Dig the Long Ball - Team with the QB that has the longest completed pass
Spencer, Jalen Hurts - 67yds
Truthfully, Jalen didn't deserve this. He played like shit, and this may be his only highlight from that game. But, rules are rules and this was the longest pass by a starting fantasy QB's this week. Spencer's team was downright terrible, 84pts in a season opener with all players healthy and no bye weeks. For context, 84.67pts is the third lowest score in week one history, Probst owning the two lowest scores at 84.46 and 65.67pts. Only two out of nine teams have made the playoffs after scoring sub-100 in week one, Jared in 2017 and Probst in 2019. The Forell brothers will have their work cut out for them moving forward.
START OF THE WEEK
Ryan, Jameson Williams - 24.40pts
This was a no brainer as Jameson was due for a breakout year. Already an early favorite for keeper of the year as Jameson came out of the gate looking like the WR1 in Detroit. "What about Amon-Ra? He is obviously the WR1." Is he though? Jameson ran 94% of routes, had a 30% target share, 65% of air yard share, commanded high 43% of the teams first-read targets, and ranked 4th in the league in separation score. This is the Jameson all of us (well most) have been waiting for. While Ryan didn't need Jameson in the win over Spencer, he showed why he deserves to be in the startling lineup after a rough start to his career.
BLUNDER OF THE WEEK
Nathan, Joe Burrow - 9.31pts
For the second year in a row, Joe "Brrrrow" ends up as the blunder in week one. When are we going to have a serious conversation about Joe? I keep hearing he's a top-3 QB and I just don't see it anymore. Burrow is a guy who has only finished 2 of his 4 seasons and already injured going into his 5th season. He can't stay healthy, he was carried by his defense in the playoffs, and is 7-12 against divisional opponents in his career. Mahomes is 30-5 against his division. If you're going to shave your hair, dye it blonde and talk a big game, you better show the fuck up. Losing to arguably the worst team in the league your home opener is an embarrassment. It's time to move Burrow down the ranks in QB tiers.
GAME-CHANGING PLAYS OF THE WEEK
Nathan, Garrett Wilson
Monday Night. A night that creates miracles or misery. We have all been there before where our matchup is ultimately decided on the last few plays of the MNF game. The outcome will determine your mental state for the rest of the week. Nathan started his night by learning that CMC was not playing, with limited choices he decided Juszczyk was his best option. While I cannot confirm, my sources are confident that this is the first time in league history that a fullback has been in a starting fantasy lineup. The matchup between Jon and Nathan came down to the final Jets possession, Nathan down by less than a point and needing Garrett Wilson to get a catch. With 1:12 left of the clock, the play below happens.
Garrett Wilson catches the pass that would give Nathan the win, but a flag for illegal touching was called. Wilson stepped out of bounds during his comeback route, making him ineligible to be the first person to possess the ball. Play is called back, zero points are awarded and the game ends with Jon winning by a .97pts. Tough break for the reigning champ.
THE LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS
LOADING... COMING AFTER WEEK THREE.
MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 2
Cheeno (0-2) vs Jared (0-2)
Big week for both of these teams. We've been through the stats before, and while this new wins/losses format may have a different effect on this, starting 0-2 or potentially 0-4 in this format will certainly have you in a deep hole early on. Cheeno and Jared are an even 5-5 in regular season play against each other since 2017, winner takes the lead in the series.
Commish's predictions are back once again! I finished 35-25 last year, rough end to the season but we're going to start off hot. 5-0 this week, calling my shot.
Commish vs. Probst: Commish Justin vs. Jared: Justin Jon vs. Ryan: Ryan Nathan vs. Worzie: Nathan Spencer vs. Nick: Nick
WEEK 2 WEEKLY PAYOUT
Best Loser - The team that loses their weekly matchup with the highest point total.
Week two is upon us. I hope I won't be eligible for this payout but one loser will be. Last week it would have been Nathan, but I'm thinking this week it will be Jon.
Good luck to everyone in week 2, except you Probst. I'll see you on Sunday as we face off against each other. I have a feeling I'll be sending you home early. Bolt up, bitches.
Comments