Week two, the week of upsets. Not just in fantasy, where Probst took down Commish, Worzie took down Nathan by exactly 1pt, but also in the NFL. Lions, Niners, Ravens, Eagles, and Cowboys all lost as heavier favorites. Many unexpected outcomes this week. I should have taken the advice by Ryan when it was given, always bet underdogs in week two because of the overreaction to week one. In fact, if you bet $100 on every game this week on the underdogs, it would have netted $1,515 in the positive.
What you see above, is a man that single-handedly ended the Commish's fantasy week by noon. It was a similar beating that he gave to Darnell Greene in a nightclub back in 2022, maybe worse they say. I thought about pressing charges but, upon my counsel's advice, I have chosen to let it go. It's best we not let this go public as The League has drawn enough attention to itself due to the failure of one team trying to sabotage the 2024 draft by not picking a full team. I'm the least bit surprised that it happened to be the guy who also carries Kamara on his roster.
I'll post this one more time before action is taken. Let it be known that either they're lazy or trying to piss me off, but I am not afraid to call people out. Worzie, Jon, Nick, and Jared, pay your dues before you read another sentence. $150, venmo @hendu. If you didn't realize, I have a wedding to pay for, plus my bookie just took my rent money on Tuesday and payday isn't until next Friday.
Alright, now that's all cleared up. Let's get into it.
WEEK 2 PAYOUT WINNER Best Loser - The team that loses their weekly matchup with the highest point total.
Nathan - 124.82pts
For the second week in a row, Nathan has lost on MNF by exactly 1pt or less. He is a combined 1.74pts from being 4-0, but instead, he sits 2-2. I have a feeling he is loving the new format because being 2-2 is significantly better than being 0-2 in the old format. He does take home a shiny $20 bill that will be mailed in the near future via our very own USPS. It should be in the mail shortly as some of you know I ship things out in a timely manner.
START OF THE WEEK
Worzie, Rhamondre Stevenson - 17.00pts
Even though Rhamondre is a solid player who gets a workhorse share of the touches, it's a ballsy decision to start anyone from the Patriots right now. On the bench in week one, Worzie throws him into the lineup for week two, helping him secure the win over Nathan to get back to 2-2. Rhamondre was put back into the FA pool pre-draft as Jon decided to keep Zay Flowers instead, which is truthfully a tough decision to make as both would have been 5th-round picks this year. I don't disagree with the decision to keep Zay given that he was already keeping two other RBs, but Rhamondre is taking the early lead for a better keeper candidate outscoring Zay by nearly double the current fantasy pts.
BLUNDER OF THE WEEK
Nathan - Missed Opportunity
For the first time ever, we are featuring a rejected trade request for the Blunder of the Week. Now, please give me a second to crack my fingers before I type what I am about to say......
What a fucking idiot Nathan is and can you imagine how idiotic he looks right now? I am actively seeking to give Nathan his handcuff to CMC and Godwin for Kupp. Hindsight is always 20/20 unless you're being offered the 1.1 handcuff who is dealing with tendonitis in his achilles. This isn't some shit that heals up and everything is fine. Per WebMD, he might actually be dying. Could you imagine the joy of this league if I traded away Mason, Godwin for Kupp and I end up with Kupp who is now injured and then have to place Pacheco on my IR? There would be a parade thrown. It would go down as the worst trade in the history of our league. Well, maybe outside of Cheeno trading me DeAndre Hopkins for LeVeon Bell when LeVeon continued to hold out the entire season while Hopkins finished as the #2 overall WR. Oh, there is also when Spencer practically traded away Julio Jones for Terrell Pryor in 2017. You get the point, it would have been historical. One thing to note, you see there is no response on my part after Nathan says "no". This is because he is impossible to negotiate with, so there was no point in me trying. Russia got a guy who is nicknamed "The Merchant of Death" back on their soil for the release of Brttney fucking Griner. If Nathan was Putin, he probably still would have said no. Just a tough look for Nathan right now, you hate to see it, unless you're... well, all of us.
GAME-CHANGING PLAYS OF THE WEEK
Spencer, Josh Jacobs
While we didn't realize at the time that this would be a deciding factor in the Spencer/Nick matchup, it just happened to be the difference between winning and losing. This play is a modified trap run where you have the LG and TE both pulling to the right and Jacobs should be following those two through the right side. Now he does a nice job getting up into the hole and then bouncing it out to the left. Unfortunately, as he stumbles at the 2-yard line, he gets stripped in a manner in which no professional RB should ever get strip fumbled there. He would have fallen into the endzone for 6pt, instead fumbling for -2pts, an 8pt swing in a matchup where Spencer lost by less than 6pts. We tend to always remember the last few plays that decide a matchup, but rarely the big swings in the Sunday morning games that can make or break the week.
THE LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS
LOADING... COMING AFTER WEEK THREE.
MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 3
Jon (4-0) vs Probst (4-0)
The last two undefeated teams face off in a North vs South matchup featuring Mahomes and Allen. Everyone from the respective divisions will be rooting for their divisional rival to lose in hopes of not letting the lead slip too early in the season. As a super exciting secondary matchup, the Forell Bros., Spencer and Jared who are both 0-4 will also be facing off. The standings will get murky as we head into week four, and don't forget, power rankings start next week.
Commish's predictions: An unrespectable 3-2 to start the season. Be better, simple as that. Week three predictions below.
Commish vs. Cheeno: Cheeno (reverse jynx) Spencer vs. Jared: Jared Jon vs. Probst: Probst Nick vs. Worzie: Worzie Nathan vs. Ryan: Ryan
WEEK 3 WEEKLY PAYOUT
Run Forrest Run! - Team with the RB with the most combined rushing and receiving yards
On to week three where RB's will be featured for the weekly payout. I know I say it every week, but I'm a lock for this. Jordan Mason running the ball 30x down the Rams throat will ensure the $20 stays in my high-risk bank account, also known as my gambling account... also known as my bookie's future spending money.
Good luck to everyone in week 3, except you Cheeno. I can already visualize you complaining at 10:30am when half of my team has already scored a touchdown. Bolt up.
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