Haters. All of you. The rumors are rumors. Never been late, never will be late. The recap is always on time. People continue to underestimate the dedication our league has to excellence. There is a reason why I’m sitting on 500+ applications for a spot in The League. Y’all should consider yourself blessed. You’re a part of the most elite fantasy league in the world. Slander of said league will not be tolerated and I won’t hesitate to sanction managers for negligence. With that being said, let’s get right into it.
WEEK 12 PAYOUT WINNER
Spencer, 8 Offensive Td's
Congrats to Spencer for being the best of the worst. This week was blah. Fantasy was miserable. Teams sucked with almost half the league scoring under 100pts. Should I even pay Spencer? Probably not. As Commish, I have that authority but because it's the holiday season and he has a second baby he needs to feed, I will gratefully pay him his money.
FACT OF THE WEEK
Oh boy, what do we have here? Below you will see, Exhibit A. Exhibit A is a factual document that states the statistical understanding of this league. At the bottom you will see a certain team, Just Do It, this team is currently 7-5 with a great opportunity to make the playoffs. It goes to show how much luck revolves around fantasy. The guy who should be worst in the league finds himself in the top 5 of all teams. No big deal though. No one is bitter, I’m just here to call a spade, a spade.
START OF THE WEEK
Spencer, Four RB's
Shoutout to spencer for playing 4 running backs this week. Do you realize how difficult it would be to field a fantasy team with 4 running backs and score 148pts. Most teams are struggling to find two running backs to start in the required spots. Spencer has done a great job at finding late season RB value with Jamal Williams and Hillard. Outside looking in, Spencer still has a slim chance at making the playoffs assuming he can get some help from other teams.
BLUNDER OF THE WEEK
Ryan, Not Playing Fournette
As I mentioned last week, anytime I get the opportunity to bash on Ryan, I’m gonna take it. Not playing Fournette is inexcusable. He has been one of the most consistent RBs through 12 weeks and playing Cole Beasley over him makes no sense. Do I really believe he meant to play Cole Beasley over Fournette? Of course not. Ryan never looks at his roster, so I assume he didn’t realize Fournette had a bye the previous week and was on the bench. Regardless, Ryan has now regressed to the mean of the top 3. He is officially vulnerable and may not even win the division.
HEARTBREAK OF THE WEEK
Two people are officially eliminated from the playoffs. It took 12 weeks, but it has happened. It’s absurd but I finally understand that I can’t make the playoffs every year. It hurts, I won’t lie. But life moves on and so does fantasy. I hope you all lose and the champions tie or some dumb shit. Probst is officially out to. This really isn’t news to anyone because when you start 1-7, you’re pretty much shit anyways. So yeah, heartbreaking, right?
WEEK 12 POWER RANKINGS
1) Mile High Magic | 7-5 | -
Still holding on to the number one spot. No longer the runaway favorite.
2) LBJ = GOAT | 7-5 | -
Looking to finish strong and compete for the North title and a bye week.
3) Kamara Forever | 7-5 | -
Suspect? Hard to say if his team will show up when it counts.
4) Romo Returns | 7-5 | -
Should probably be in the bottom four, but due to the record, remains in the top four.
5) Just Do It | 7-5 | -
Should also be in the bottom four but has had the easiest schedule of anyone so far.
6) This is the Pitts | 6-6 | -
The Commish's prediction for the 6th seed in the playoffs.
7) Veto my Pito | 6-6 | -
Will ultimately lose to the Commish this week and end his playoff chances.
8) Big Meaty Calves | 5-7 | -
Borderline dead. Will be dead after this week.
9) I've Been Immunized | 4-8 | ▲1
Dead. But congrats on not being in 10th place anymore.
10) Goodell 2.0 | 4-8 | ▼1
Dead. Just dead.
MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 13
Nick vs Jere are looking to battle it out. Nick, who had the best record through 10 weeks looks to defend his ground against Jere who started 0-3 and has found himself in a battle for the final playoff seed.
Commish's Lucky 8-Ball Predictions: (12-13 overall)
Commish vs Worzie: Commish Wins
Spencer vs Jared: Spencer Wins
Jere vs Nick: Jere Wins
Justin vs Probst: Justin Wins
Ryan vs Nathan: Ryan Wins
WEEK 13 WEEKLY PAYOUT
Right on the Money - Team closest to their projected point total (over OR under).
The good news is that everyone has a chance at winning this. Shoutout to those who have not won weekly payout yet, aka me, because it’s bullshit.
Good luck to everyone this week, except you Worzie. I plan on ending your playoff chances.