I've been meaning to do this for a while now through Facebook because I have done it in the past. I apologize for some of those that I have missed over the months but our league-mates have had some awesome milestones and life-changing events happen recently that should be noted. This league is made of up family, it's meant to be built around friendship and enjoying a silly game to keep us engaged and entertained throughout the football season. It's something to look forward to when we have a shitty week at work. Whether some of you have met in person, or not, this league should be a place of camaraderie, brotherhood and shit-talking, of course. As the league evolves, so do we, and it's important that we keep that in mind. With so many shitty things going on in the world, I think we need to take more time to celebrate the beautiful things in life. So, let's start by celebrating each other.
Congratulations to Nathan and his wife Alex on the birth of their first child last Saturday, Cameron Kizzar. I hope you don't let him become a Jets fan although maybe they'll be decent by the time he grows up. Probably not, but maybe.
Another Forell will be joining us in the coming months! Congrats to Spencer and his wife Caity on the recent pregnancy announcement for their second kid. We're rooting for a little boy this time in hopes that their cousin Abe grows up with some testosterone around the family because both Spencer and Jared are lacking in that area.
While he may be losing in fantasy, he continues to win in life. Just a couple of weekends ago, Probst got a yes from his now fiancé Allyson! Shoutout to me as the photographer, but I couldn't be happier for this guy.
A massive congrats to my pops Jere for recently celebrating 20 years of sobriety. Words cannot express how proud I am of this guy and I hope through my actions that one day I can make him just as proud. For those who know my father, you know how important he is to me and the impact he has had on my life. I appreciate you for letting me fail when I needed to fail and teaching me how to succeed and never quit.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. Let's continue to make the best of what we have. Everyone in this league should be able to lean on one another to get through the tough times so we can celebrate the good times.
Whew, don't cry Michael. Don't cry... Alright, now that we got through that, let's get into this recap, shall we?
WEEK 8 PAYOUT WINNERS
North Division - Jared
South Division - Nathan (by default)
Four of the five North teams won this week, which was a great thing for myself as it keeps me in the hunt for the South Division title. Nathan ended up winning the money in the South, by default, as he was the only team who won this week. Congrats, I guess? It would probably benefit you to start a college fund for Cameron with that. Jared ended up taking home the money in the North Division with a .51pt difference over his brother, Spencer. They were virtually tied going into MNF but in a battle of the backups, Devontae Booker came through for Jared, putting up 17.50pts to Darrel Williams 17.00pts for Spencer.
FACT OF THE WEEK
These playoffs are wide open for everyone. Well, almost everyone. Sorry, Probst. As Mike Tomlin recently said, "Never say never... but never." That leaves nine teams to compete for six spots available. I think it's a good time to remind everyone that the tiebreaker for division titles is determined by divisional record. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm still the only one who hasn't lost to a divisional opponent. For the other four wildcard teams, the tiebreaker comes down to points-for. Now, that probably isn't ideal for some of you, looking at you Justin. Every week matters and every point matters.
START OF THE WEEK
Jared, Devontae Booker - 17.50pts
Honestly, no one is really deserving of this award. I sat here for 15-minutes trying to make an argument for someone to take this home. I even wrote the rest of the recap and then came back to this knowing I had to pick someone. No one stands out this week but here you go Jared, consider this a participation award. Congrats on making a pretty easy choice where you ended up winning your matchup and weekly payout because of it. I dare someone to make an argument for their player to get this award because I seriously went through every matchup five times and no one deserved this. Just to let you know my criteria: You have to make a difficult lineup decision that ideally makes the difference in your matchup that leads to a victory. That's the ideal situation.
BLUNDER OF THE WEEK
Commish, David Johnson - 1.30pts
Fuck man. Don't ask me what I was thinking throwing this bum out there. He's like 34 and hasn't been relevant since 2016. Wait, what?
This mother fucker is only 29? I'm older than this sumofabitch?! The worst part is that I traded for McKissic and didn't play him over this turd. McKissic would have given me 16 more points. Crucial considering I'm going to need all the points I can to get into the playoffs.
Expect me to land on this next week as well. Just dropped 40 FAAB on a 36-year-old running back who literally had a massive fucking lipper in his mouth in his first practice back. Can't tell if this is an all-time electric move from one of the greatest running backs ever or a bad habit he picked up in the off-season.
[editors note: With some quick google skills, I just learned this fucking guy has been dipping for almost two decades. He once almost missed a game because he swallowed a dip after falling asleep on the team plane in 2015 and got sick. Proceeded to run for 98 yards on 19 carries. I'm back on the AP train, whatever makes this dude get into that endzone.]
HEARTBREAK OF THE WEEK
Worzie got beat up this week. After trading a majority of his team for a fresh-look roster, it took merely a couple of days for it to start falling apart. Ridley ends up taking a leave of absence to work on his mental health. James Robinson gets hurt and may miss time. His new TE Schultz puts up his lowest total of the season. Brutal considering he was looking to overhaul the roster for a playoff run. With all that being said, he still only lost by 2pts this week.
The real heartbreak of the week belongs to me though. Godspeed my King.
WEEK 9 POWER RANKINGS
1) Mile High Magic | 5-3 | -
Despite losing, still retains the top spot. His three losses are by a combined 11.53pts.
2) Kamara Forever | 6-2 | ▲1
Has entered the conversation as the front runner in the North Division, and maybe top team overall?
3) Romo Returns | 6-2 | ▼1
Despite still leading the North, he has the lowest points-against in the league.
4) Big Meaty Calves | 4-4 | ▲1
Big comeback win after a two-game skid. Looks to get back above .500 since Week 1 this year.
5) LBJ = GOAT | 4-4 | ▲2
Makes a jump in the standings after a two-game winning streak and CMC 's return is close.
6) Goodell 2.0 | 4-4 | ▼2
Takes a significant hit by losing King Henry for the rest of the year.
7) Just Do It | 4-4 | ▲1
Has fought to get back to .500 but remains the lowest point scorer in the league. Currently on the outside of the playoff bubble, looking in.
8) This is the Pitts | 3-5 | ▲1
After starting 0-3, he remains in the playoff hunt. Is this already a must-win week?
9) Wolf of Wall Street | 3-5 | ▼3
On a tough 4-game losing streak. His new team has yet to establish a good rapport with the coach.
[Just realized Worzies' new team name, assuming this is in reference to being a great (fantasy) trader? I feel obligated as commish to change that to Sheep of Wall Street because you keep getting fleeced.]
10) I've Been Immunized | 1-7 | -
Is also immunized to winning.
MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 9
Commish (4-4) vs Nathan (4-4)
This is a personal matchup for me. Not only is Nathan a divisional opponent but if I happen to lose this game I will never hear the end of it. I'm not worried about losing though. I have this week locked up. I expect him to use the excuse that all his players are on bye but no one cares. Take the L and move on.
Commish's Lucky 8-Ball Predictions: I went 4-1 last week (7-3 overall) missing on, once again, myself. But I think the third time is the charm.
Commish vs Nathan: Commish Wins
Spencer vs Jere: Jere Wins
Probst vs Nick: (upset alert) Probst Wins
Jared vs Worzie: Jared Wins
Justin vs Ryan: Ryan Wins
WEEK 9 WEEKLY PAYOUT
Over Achiever - Team with most points over their weekly projection
Everyone has a fair shot at this one. The best part about this week is that if you win this payout, you're essentially guaranteed a win. I expect someone to land in the 170+ region and take this home.
Good luck to everyone this week, except you Nathan. Jackboyz are coming for ya.