2025 Week One Recap

Cold Beers, National Anthems, and Flyovers. Nothing better than football season being back.

Before we get into this, let's talk about a couple of things. First, how about this new blog look, eh? Dark mode just makes everything better. I don't care if you're sitting by the pool on a sunny day, or waking up from a deep sleep, reading this first thing in the morning. It's just easier on the eyes with a dark background.

Secondly, it was an embarrassing opening weekend for some of you. Four teams scored under 100pts in the opening week. Some would say it's just week one, plenty of road ahead. But winners would tell you that shit is unacceptable. This league is considered the best-of-the-best. The product that some of you guys put out there on the field this week was unacceptable. Coming off a down year, I expect better from you guys. Either pick it up, or pack your bags.

Lastly, It's apparent some of you didn't read how the new defensive scoring works. This isn't Hooked on Phonics, I am not going to sound it out for you. What are you doing starting the Ravens & Bills defenses? Go to the nearest sporting goods and buy a bike helmet to wear from now on.

Fuck it, let's get into it before I go full tilt.

WEEK 1 PAYOUT WINNER MVP - Team with the single highest scoring starter

Michael, Josh Allen

As I've always said, Josh Allen is a better Fantasy QB than he is a real QB. Him winning me some money in week one is exactly why I drafted him. Now as a person, is he funny in his little social media bits that he does? Yes. Is he married to a famous actor and semi-famous singer? Yes. Is he always generous with his time to underprivileged or sick children? Yes. So, what is there to hate? He turns the ball over at a rate unlike any other QB since he entered the league. Now, has that changed? For now. Does that make me hate him less? Slightly, it's getting to the point to where he is becoming more likable as he gets better at football. But you'll still hear from me whenever he turns the ball over.

START OF THE WEEK

Jared, Ricky Pearsall - 14.80pts

It's week one, is there really a start of the week? Meh, not really, but Jared had the option of playing Khalil Shakir over Pearsall and went with the better option. Pearsall may have seemed like the better choice given the injury status of the Niners' WR core, but you're also choosing Brock Purdy over Josh Allen as your distributor. Now with Brock Purdy out and Mac Jones starting, this could be questioned moving forward. Quietly, Pearsall has carved out a nice role over the last few games of 2024 and into 2025, averaging 20.63pts over his last three games.

BLUNDER OF THE WEEK

Nick's Entire Team

Tough week for Nick here. Earning a negative 7.75pts from your defense is one thing, but Xavier Worthy took a massive friendly-fire hit from Kelce and went out on the third play, and will be out for a couple of weeks. Brock Bowers limped off the field and didn't return after a non-contact knee injury (although he looks to be ok). Malik Nabers continues to play but monitoring a couple different injuries. Drake London suffered a shoulder injury on Sunday, which will be something to watch going into week two. Lastly, while Caleb Williams didn't suffer an injury, he just sucks at football. Last Saturday, a three-part report came out which stated that Caleb suffers from dyslexia, which cannot be good as the play caller of an NFL team. Just bad vibes all around from that team.

Honorable Mention

Ryan's Entire Team

The good news: Ryan was the only manager to perfectly utilize his startling lineup, getting maximum points out of his roster week one. The bad news: He only scored 86.84pts, which is typically not a good indicator moving forward.

GAME-CHANGING PLAY OF THE WEEK

Cheeno, Justin Herbert

I know this wasn't nationally televised, just globally televised, but in case you missed it; Justin Herbert went demon-mode against the Chiefs. 350 total yards and 3 tuddies. Some people are saying this is due to Greg Roman finally scheming early-down throws for Herbert, while others are saying this is the Madison Beer effect. Could be both? But coming home to Beer and an ice cold beer after beating the Chiefs has be an awesome feeling. I'll be honest here, there were so many different plays I could have taken from this game. QJ's two TDs, Slayer's "welcome home" TD, Teair Tart's open-handed bitch slap to Kelce's face, but we all know it had to be Herbert's game-sealing rush on 3rd and 14.

THE LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS

LOADING... COMING AFTER WEEK THREE.

MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 2

Spencer (2-0) vs Probst (0-2)

Opportunity. That is what this matchup comes down to. This will be the best start for Spencer in a handful of years should he win. Probst looks for redemption after starting his season off in a miserable fashion with the lowest point total of the week.

Commish's predictions are back once again!

Commish vs. Ryan: Commish Spencer vs. Probst: Probst

Cheeno vs Nick: Cheeno Jared vs. Jon: Jon Nathan vs. Worzie: Nathan

WEEK 2 WEEKLY PAYOUT

Sweet 16 - Team with any starting TE that finished closest to 16 total points (over or

under)

Not a single TE broke 16pts this week, so it could be the highest scorer wins. I think we are all hoping that teams start to open up the playbook and get the TE involved a little more. Unless you're the Chargers, just keep throwing to Ladd, QJ, and Slayer.

Good luck to everyone in week 2, except you, Ryan. I didn't think I would get a free win this early in the season, but here we are. Bolt up, bitches. It's Raiders week, FTR.