2025 Week Three Recap

Another week down, and another win for Commish. I know it's only been three weeks, but does this mean I will pass on the chance to dance on graves? Absolutely not. The North stinks again, just an incestual pillow fight for who can end up closest to .500 and still win the division. The South at least has some bite. Sure, we have our retarded three-legged pooch, Ryan. That musty ol' dog used to have some fight, but ever since getting beat down by Papa Henderson in back-to-back championships, it looks like he's on the brink of death. Good news, though, everyone will have a turn to kick this old dog, as Tom Brady suggests.

This should be inspiration for the North, because y'all just pissing on the porch like a puppy. Which one of y'all going to step up and separate from the pack?

As for the South?

Let's get right into this shit.

WEEK 3 PAYOUT WINNER Chicks Dig the Long Ball - Team with the QB with the longest pass

Nick, Caleb Williams - 65 Yards

Those zesty passes from Caleb finally found their way into the hands of his own receivers, specifically a 65-yard flea-flicker that Luther Burden caught on the sideline and finished into the endzone. It's still TBD if the Cowboys' pass defense will end up historically bad, but a now-benched Russell Wilson threw for 450 yards against them, and Caleb just torched them for four tuddies. Big for Nick though, he only owes me $130 now.

START OF THE WEEK

Worzie, Omarion Hampton - 24.90pts

While SOTW doesn't get interesting until bye weeks start picking up, Worzie made a play here. Starting Hampton after an 8pt and 3pt showing? That takes some balls knowing he was still splitting snaps with Najee against Denver's defense. Hampton balled out to the tune of 24.90pts, but only after Najee took his last snap as a Charger. By the way, is Herbert a certified psycho? Did anyone see what happened after Najee tore his achilles?

Herbert just casually hurdles over Najee and proceeds to fire a dart downfield. Didn't care to check on Najee afterward, just proceeded to get the next play and continue on. Ball and Beer, all he focuses on. Love that.

BLUNDER OF THE WEEK

Ryan's Entire Team

We have already gone through this, but another week of a bum roster. We know why Bo Nix was ass, he struggles against the Chargers, and that's ok. But the rest of his roster hasn't shown up yet. Don't get me wrong, I actually like a handful of his players. Josh Jacobs will break out at some point. Ladd is due to get his. Henderson, hopefully, takes over the starting role if he learns pass pro. Higgins died when Burrow died, unfortunately. But McBride has been solid, Swift has been fine, and now he has Skattebo in a starting role. Maybe he balls out one of these weeks. Oh, and maybe some FAAB used this year? That's doubtful, though.

GAME-CHANGING PLAY (GAME) OF THE WEEK

Lions vs Ravens

This game did not disappoint, unless you were Cheeno. For the second weekend in a row, Cheeno gets put into the hotel cuck chair and watches as his team gets fucked by three other dudes. I wouldn't be surprised if he renames his team Bonnie Blue. In case you didn't know what was going on, Cheeno had already won his matchup and was sitting in third for points scored on the week. About the middle of the third quarter, I realized that Worzie, Spencer, and Nathan were starting to creep up and pass Cheeno on points. Spencer passed Cheeno first, followed by Worzie. Nathan was still about 5 points behind Cheeno, but Lamar was still playing. A 31-yard rushing TD by Montgomery with less than two minutes left set up a four-play sequence, starting with a 3rd and 26...

THE LEAGUE POWER RANKINGS

The first power rankings are out!

1) Goodell 2.0: Leader in points scored, only undefeated team. A- Draft.

2) LBJ = GOAT: A top roster, but half his players have backup QBs starting for their teams.

3) Me & Mahomies: Elite after a week-one dud.

4) PAC 2 Champion: Best of the worst division.

5) El Cap: Too-early-to-tell-but-potential-pretender-alert.

6) Aiyuken: Tough two-week stretch, now marred by injuries.

7) Meat Log: Frisky but has the most points scored against.

8) Romo's Reckoning: Can't trust a team starting Caleb Williams.

9) Footsteps Falco: It's now or never to recover the season.

10) Mile High Magic: Potentially the 2008 Lions.

MATCH-UP FOR WEEK 4

Cheeno (3-3) vs Jared (3-3)

A matchup between two mid North teams, one of these teams looks to try and make their way to the top of the North. Something to watch, we have some other interesting matchups this week, 6-0 vs 2-4; 4-2 vs 0-6; 5-1 vs 2-4; and 4-2 vs 1-5. We are either going to see further separation from top to bottom, or potential upsets and the rankings squeeze together.

Week 4 Predictions

Commish went 3-2 in week two, overall 5-5.

Commish vs. Probst: Commish

Spencer vs. Jon: Jon

Nick vs. Worzie: Worzie Cheeno vs. Jared: Jared Nathan vs. Ryan: Nathan

WEEK 4 WEEKLY PAYOUT

The Bye Week - Team that wins with the biggest points margin of victory

My money is on Nathan this week, but I may bury Probst if we're being real.

Actually, looking at it again, Nick's team looks miserable. Just realized he started two TE's last week and potentially again this week. That is some wild shit in week 4. Lock in Worzie for this one.

Good luck to everyone in week 5, except you, Probst. 2-6 isn't going to look pretty as a record. Bolt up!